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Friday, January 7, 2011

Pick-up time observations

Why do children react the way they do when they reunite with their families at the end of the day? It's never easy to get inside a child's head for definitive answers, but here are some possibilities that may come into play on any given day:

  • Ignoring us may actually be a sign that our child has adjusted well, feels secure at child care, and knew all along that we would return: "I'm glad to see you, but it's no big deal. I knew you'd come back, and so I'll just continue with what I was doing."
  • "Going to pieces" may be a natural reaction to the sight of the person the child is closest to - you! Sometimes it's hard for a child to be in a group all day, and by the end of the day they are tired and their resistance is low. You are a big deal, almost too big.
  • Children are driven to experiment. Acting out can be a child's way of testing an interesting situation. There are two people (the parent and the caregiver) who set limits and enforce the rules. "Who is in charge?" or, "How do these people work together?" Unable to articulate the question with words, the child may ask the question through behavior.
  • Our child may just want us to stay a while in this place that is special, to be there together.
  • Maybe there is a little unconscious payback and resistance to being forced to suddenly stop an activity in which our child was engrossed. He may be thinking, "I didn't like it when you dropped me off here rather abruptly this morning, so I'm not going to leave easily for you tonight."
  • It’s even possible that your child may be anticipating the hustle and bustle that characterizes the evening routine until bedtime, and is voting with his feet to stay in this child-centered place!

Children are complex human beings. They are instinctive social scientists at every age, using their behavior to experiment with how the world of people works and their place in it. In the process, they will both delight us and push all of our buttons. In the instance of a child care reunion, one thing is certain — you are the ones they love best. They just have a funny way of showing it.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Want to become CEO? Then follow your Toddler!

Check out this terrific column by the Financial Times’ Lucy Kellaway on why the best (surprisingly) and worst (not so surprisingly) CEOs have a lot in common with toddlers. Among the highlights is the revelation that came to Nicholas Brann, a former banker with a 3rd child on the rink of toddlerhood. He geared himself up by writing some of the best traits of toddlerhood and them came to realize many of those traits were shared by many of the best CEOs he had worked for. They include:

● Toddlers are full of energy and enthusiasm. You can’t beat a toddler who is really into something and going for it 100 per cent.

● Toddlers are natural risk-takers. They throw themselves into climbing down the banisters in the boldest, bravest fashion.

● Toddlers are persistent. When told not to smear jam on a DVD, they will wait a couple of minutes and then do it again.

● Toddlers are inquisitive. They will not be fobbed off with a stock reply but go on asking “why? why? why?”

● Toddlers are creative. Their felt-tip drawings on walls and sofas betray the liveliest imagination.

● Toddlers have great interpersonal skills. They are good at thawing the hardest heart with hugs and sloppy kisses.

Check out the full article for a fun and refreshing read that may help you appreciate your toddler and your CEO more.